umm.... Hello!

Right...  my very own blog.....    a lot of firsts for me this early 2011....   as you might expect, i suppose.   God what a crap year!

Still, how are all you lot, out there in the normal world?   alright, still?    I'm sorry that i cant reply to one and all.  I've had many, many messages of support and some fantastic and very thoughtful preses and parcels.    it feels really great to know that I'm well thought after and i can really feel the weight of every one's concern.   Which is why i thought a blog would be the best way of conveying my story to all my friends and family in the best possible way.    (that and the secret desire to make it such a wow of a blog that i get famous and wind up on top gear ((before it gets crap)) and set the fastest celeb lap!)

A mate of mine texted me today telling me that I'd best be funny, on this blog and should i require any assistance i should contact him and he'd gladly furnish me with some sterling material!!!   thanks pal... but i think I'll be ok on this one....   that top gear spot will be mine!!!   AND maybe a slot on never mind the buzzcocks...  and i fancy a crack at Qi too....    and, at a push, sat next to Merton on Have I Got News For You...  (possibly)

i thought I'd start off by updating everyone with what's happened to poor old me in the last 2 weeks.   well, not a lot if I'm brutally honest.   a lot of staring at the big blue curtain that surrounds me (7.5 meters wide, fully unfurled by the by...   yeah, thanks dad!)    a bit of looking out of the window,   a few tears,   some laughs too believe it or not,    some pretty doctors and nurses....   YUP...   and a finger up me bum!  (year of firsts, eh?) oh and... sheer, 100%, stone wall, iron clad, 360 degree, solid gold, brick lined, limitless amounts of BOREDOM!!! (as one would come to expect)   especially from a London twit who finds it hard to sit still in any normal given moment.

I feel like the narrator in a school nativity....   the story so far...

i was admitted here at Guys way, way back on Monday 17th of January.   as my early round robbin e-mail explained.    The doctors were convinced by the results of my 3 CT scans and 2 chest X rays i had that i had a spreading form of testicular cancer that has spread to my lungs and liver.   Not the cutest of school narrations, so far, is it?

Fortunately for me the CT scan of my head showed my head was all clear (but for, ooh, dozens of smart arsed chums, at this point, YES THERE WERE SIGNS OF PINK STUFF IN THERE... HAR HAR HARRRR!!!)   so the Chemotherapy treatment was due to begin asap.    but not before the team had a chance to er... well... as the french would say... "ow you say...?" but i guess I'd say...  stash some "little Milton's" to one side in a deep freeze somewhere.   There's a story over some beers for that one too, one day.   I suppose In the technical side of the telly industry we would call it future proofing.   (i trained as a TV engineer y'know!)   As i said earlier, its been a year of firsts for me....   and now i can announce to the world, without strapping to my chest; a pastel coloured, criss cross, over engineered, Eco friendly 'my first stab jacket' with baby slumped inside....   and cry out in full confident double negative....   "NO JAFFA I AIN'T!!!"  WOO HOO!!!

right so...   i think I'll wrap up there for today, on that subtle note.   I shall let the rest of the story ebb and flow over the next few chapters...  when ever said chapters decide to reveal themselves.    The fundamental news is that the big chief wig wam, Dr Simon Chowdhury (nice guy, very serious and likes cricket) has told me thus far that my response to the treatment is going as well as expected and 'couldn't be going any better.'   that said i am at the very beginning of an extremely long course and at the start he gave me odds of 50-50!    Which scared the living S*?t out of both me and my parents.    he is a very cautious man and many other nurses and doctors under Dr Simon have said how very treatable my case is and it is by far the best of a very bad cancer bunch to pick!   those are the very positive points and the hard facts i am desperately clinging to.

its worth bearing in mind that it is not only me that is in a position of hope and anxiety.   For the few of you that don't know, for my parents, this is child 2 of 2 to suffer with the big C and them having to go through all this again, after the 4 years of suffering that my sister went through, before she was taken from us, is just the most desperately unfair thing to happen to anybody...   let alone my wonderful parents, Margaret and John.   Please spare a thought for them instead of me every now and again.

Right, I'm off to wipe my nose and dry my eyes.    please don't worry about coming to visit me, I'm ok for now and my second regime of chemo is due to start next week, which does tend to wipe the floor with me.   i hate to say it but i find visits hard and a little tiring.   i really want to see everyone but in a normal and familiar environment.   



speak soon...

Chris 'Milton' Ivin. x

Ps thanks to larry for setting me up on the blog!   Nice one. x