Hi again... Some news of a disappointing nature!

Hi everybody! 

Christopher "Milton" Ivin here...  Writing back on my blog once again in times of peril.   For most of you it will come as a shock but yet again the bloods in my body show that I haven't killed off this horrible beast that dwells within and it's growing/spreading again! 

I'm sorry to relay to you like this but I don't want to beat about the bush.   It seems I'm a fair weather blogger. Or actually if you think about it, a crap peeing down with rain, I'm stuck in hospital again, type blogger!   I have been out since the 7th of July and after the initial period of about a week of getting used to  my own home, I have been having quite a nice time, eating, helping with the building works at my house where I can, eating, watching films, eating, enjoying the weather where poss, eating, slowly recovering, eating, scoffing my face, oh did I mention eating? And generally more and more enjoying my time of supposed recovery as days passed by.  It felt like I was slowly getting back to normal after the massive battering my last drug treatment gave me.

So.   What has happened then?  Well as the bum fluff on my chin started to appear and the baby fur a top my swede started to grow this indicated to me that the Chemo drugs were flushing out of my body.   This is the scary times.   The plan was to be in a years period of constant blood tests to monitor my progress and see my cancer blood markers drop away for good!   Sadly the news is that they got down to a low of 15 and them since then have started to rise. Now since Monday at a count of 99.   This is bad.   It's what happened before after my first chemo marathon had completed the number that was supposed to shrink started to rise again.  So now it's back to hospital for another change of tack.   A different plan and course of action.   I will enlighten you with the details as they are confirmed but after a stem cell inducement and harvest which will take more than ten days to prepare I then get prepped for high dose chemotherapy. HDC.   Which does not sound comfortable!   

Trust me I'm thinking positive and being strong and  will NEVER give up but I am scared and it looks initially like my chances have narrowed yet again.   I WILL BEAT THIS AND ENJOY THE REST OF MY LIFE NORMALLY AND GROW OLD WITH MY RUSSIAN!!!  I MUST!!! 

I'm sorry if I've neglected my support with no comments on think strong or writing just a simple hi on my blog but I have been enjoying my time at home and apart from going in to draw bloods for my tests I have managed to put the hospital out of my mind... And have been sleeping soundly! 

But now it is time to face up to the challenge ahead and return back to that place for more fighting.   I am seeing my consultant, the ever inventive dr shamash, tomorrow at 3:30 to get the latest word on my case and what I do next.   

I want to tell you that I vision the future with me very much in it and working and happy and with hair back on my head.   Think of me and send me all the positives you can but also Inna, my mum and my dad too. My support team.   They are going through it again.  After I got the dreaded phone call Tuesday late afternoon I was at my parents breaking the news to them with the Russian. The four of us sucked it up and got positive.  Today I'm a little more down but ok. But if there is anything you can think of to help my support team out please ask them to offer your kind help.  I know from the vast constant wave of support from all of you out there that they will be looked after and well catered for! All you guys have been nothing short of truly amazing.   I will get round to everyone in person and thank them... Wether that be personal friends, family or work friends... Everybody has been overwhelmingly kind, generous and boosted me beyond belief!

Look after yourselfs and your loved ones... Cherrish every day you have and keep helping out me and my support team out even if it just the power of positive love and thoughts!   

The fight just moved on a pace and I'm going to need your help to get through... But I will get through and get better and love my life again!

All my love and powers of positive thought go out to you and yours... Sincerely...

Chris "Milton" Ivin.

Ps... Dr Josh... I will get round to mentioning you In my blog later on... Don't be disappointed! Oh and to protect your privacy I'll mention you as dr joe!!! How about that? Does that help at all? ;-)